There are times when my 14-year-old can make me more exasperated than I thought possible. It’s almost as though she has regressed back to the 2-year-old “Why?” stage.  You remember that one... you remain endlessly patient while your child plays the game of asking "why" over and over again.  In my house, it went something like this:

Me:           “Balls are for bouncing, not for throwing at your baby sister.” 
Toddler:    “Why?”  
Me:           “Because it hurts your sister when you hit her.” 
Toddler:    “Why?”
Me:           “Because the ball is hard.”

Eventually, after ten “Why” questions, I would inwardly scream “BECAUSE I said so!" while outwardly I calmly answered each little "Why?".

Well, here I am 12 years later, no longer inwardly or outwardly patient.  The 14-year-old "why" version goes like this:

Teen:    “Can I go to a concert at the 930 Club with Hallie and Michele on Saturday?”
Me:        “Which parents are taking you?”
Teen:    “Michele’s older sister is taking us.”
Me:        “I don’t want you to go unless a parent is staying.”
Teen:    “Why?”
Me:        “Because it’s just not safe.”
Teen:    “Why not?  Michele's sister is 18, and Hallie’s mom said she can go!”
Me:        “I’m not Hallie’s mom.  I don’t think it’s safe.”
Teen:    “Why?”
Me:        “Because you’re too young to be there by yourselves.”
Teen:     “Why?”
Me:         “Please stop asking.  When a parent is going, you may ask me again.”
Teen:     “It's not fair!  I don't understand why I can't go!”

And this goes on until I scream the words, “BECAUSE I said so!”  I'm angry with her.  I'm angry with myself.  I  feel defeated because everything I told myself about remaining disengaged went right out the window after the 6th “Why?”  

I once heard an expert say that 2-year-olds ask, “Why” for several reasons: They may actually be trying to gain understanding or they may just enjoy the attention and the routine of asking over and over again.  I think the answer applies equally to 14-year-olds.